i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize