p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
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I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
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I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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