She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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