She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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