I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize