I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize