Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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