the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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