Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize