Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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