so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
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So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
This is classic penis vs brain.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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