Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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