it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
did i walk over a car last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize