I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
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I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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