It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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