I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
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Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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