I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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