i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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