Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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