He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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