I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
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idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize