It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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