I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
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Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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