Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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