God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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