Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
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I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
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I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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