it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize