I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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