something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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