Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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