I'm lost and stupid without you.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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