you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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