Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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