The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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