her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize