Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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