Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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