I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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