I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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