Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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