I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize