I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize