Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
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she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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