I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
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she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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