Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize