He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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