so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize