This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize