fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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