is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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